Never Take Advice From a Therapist!

Not only is advice given by therapists usually bad, but if it doesn't work and you report back to the therapist stating such, he or she will use one of three "escape methods" (i.e. methods they will use to try to get out of it), all of which are bound to make you feel frustrated. [note: all the following scenarios are real - they are drawn from my own actual experience.]

Method 1 - the therapist attempts to "flee", when she finds out the advice was bad. Example: In a previous session, our therapist has given the client bad dating advice. The client then reports back - the conversation goes as follows:

Therapist: "What are you perceiving today?"

Client: "I perceive you gave me a bad recommendation last session - it did not work."

Therapist (in a huff): "It wasn't a recommendation - it was a suggestion."

Client: "Okay, it was a bad suggestion. Whatever - you screwed up."


Method 2 - the therapist attempts to "merge advice", i.e. make his (revised) advice compatible with that from someone else which turned out to be correct, thus making it appear that his (the therapist's) advice was never wrong in the first place. Example: The therapist has been telling the patient to drink eight glasses of water per day:

Client: "You're wrong about drinking eight glasses of water every day. I started doing that, and found myself getting drowsy and even occasionally dizzy."

Therapist: "Yes, but did you suffer any ill effects?"

Client: "Hello? My doctor said to stop drinking that much water because it dilutes one's sodium level, thus throwing off their electrolyte balance, resulting in these problems."

Therapist (in a huff again): "Well..if it bothers you, don't drink so much!"

Client: "Thanks for the retro-active advice, barf-bag."


Method 3: "Transition viewpoint" - shift advice which was given previously as if it had some general validity, to become instead focused upon the client as if it was tailor-made at the time given specifically for him or her. Example: As do all therapists, the one in this scenario has advised the client to join Toastmasters, since "it is known to improve peoples' confidence, especially when they are speaking in front of others":

Therapist: "How is Toastmasters going?"

Client: "You screwed up again. The meetings with them had been making me extremely nervous and anxious, even continuing well after the conclusion of each meeting. I then found out that research has been done, which has shown that people who are in Toastmasters have a disproportionately high rate of abnormal EKG's*. In other words, your dunce-ed-ness, they are under an unhealthy amount of stress."

Therapist: "Well, if it bothers you, don't go!!"

*a knowledgeable health professional gave me that information about Toastmasters and EKG's approximately eleven years ago.


The moral of all this? Limit validity of the therapist's advice only to subjects pertaining to the therapy itself:

Therapist: "I advise you to see me text Tuesday."

Client: "Yes, I had predicted so, since that is the normal day for our sessions. Is it okay if I wear a blindfold then, however? I really would rather not see you."